It's Done

Finally,
it's over. One semester has finished.
What's next? I dunno...

I just want You...

Exams

I'm in a war, where I think i wont be able to make it for the first time...

We're on Our Own... Not All the Time.

dear reader,

if you hadn't realise, we each go through everyday together with one another; whether friends, family, foes.
But honestly, we never do go through hard times together...

No matter how u study, u do ur exam alone.
No matter how hard u work, ur pay is given only to and for u.
No matter how u do things, like if u workout, the results is for u
when u exercise, the fitness goes to u
when u die, ull go to heaven alone.

yes, ur not d oni one who dies, who studies, who works hard, who exercises. but whatever u do, whether with ur frens or not. the results is always only for u alone.

i mean yeah lar ur results can be d same as ur fren and sometimes u study as much as him and u might get the same results or ur metabolic rate might be d same resulting in the same fitness level or ur work might be similar and all. but then everything u do u get it alone.

ok this post doesnt make sense.... LOL

happy studyin for the exams :D

I think the fact that we, as humans, do not want to get hurt always end up getting in the end.

this is life....

A New Leaf

im a new leaf,

a leaf that would turnover,

to your love.. where i pray is forever.

teach me patience, to be able to help us grow with each other

teach me kindness, to have ur eyes and know what it feels like to help without needing a reason

teach me forgiveness, to forgive those who've hurt me

teach me joy, to be happy even when i go through the hardest times

teach me humbleness, to not boast of your angellic beauty but to embrace in only in my heart

teach me thankfulness, to cherish every moment spent with you

teach me understanding, to not get frustrated over small stupid things and big wise things LOL

teach me loyalty, to not leave nor forsake you, just as how you would never forsake me

teach me perseverance, to never give up and go through this with you

teach me hope, to look into the dark future and know that there is your light that would shine upon me

ultimately, do not teach, but insert love into me, so that i would learn how to be patient, kind, to forgive, to have and bring joy, to be humble, to be thankful, to understand, to be loyal, to persevere and to have hope in my situations, my days, my weeks, my months, years.. in my life.

for you are the new leaf that is in me

and you are the air that i breathe

every second counts

as this heart of my pounds

for i am loved

by you =)

Saviour King

Does this song sound familiar to any of you??? check this out =)

Let now the weak say I have strength
By the spirit of power that raised Christ from the dead
Let now the poor stand and confess
That my portion is Him and I'm more than blessed

Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our king

We love you Lord, we worship you
You are our God, you alone are good

Let now your church shine as the bride
That you soar in your heart as you offered up your life
Let now the lost be welcomed home
By the saved and redeemed those adopted as your own

Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our king

We love you Lord, we worship you
You are our God, you alone are good
You asked your Son to carry this
The heavy cross our weight of sin

I love you Lord, I worship you
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed
I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the savior king

Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our king

We love you Lord, we worship you
You are our God, you alone are good
You asked your Son to carry this
The heavy cross our weight of sin

I love you Lord, I worship you
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed
I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the savior king

everytime i listen to this song it gives me a feeling of calmness. i can vision everyone praying at the altar, raising their hands and lifting their voices. They see hope, they see a future where God promised that they would find joy, love, fulfillment... Everything that He has promised.

it gives me a sense of satisfaction and reminds me that despite what we are going through, He is always there =)

No Greater Love - Part 2

as the father yelled out , "I love you son!" he threw the line to his son's friend. By the time he pulled the firned back to the capsized boat, his son had disappeared beyond the raging swells into the black of night. His body was never recovered, " the pastor continued.

By this time, the teenagers were sitting straighter in the pew, waiting for the next words to come out of the old man's mouth.

"The father," he continued, "knew his son would step into eternity with Jesus. He could not bear the thought of his son's friend stepping into an eternity of hell. Therefore, he sacrificed his own son. how great is the love of God that He should do the same for us."

With that, the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as silence filled the room. After the service ended, the two teenagers were at the old man's side. "That was a nice story," politely started one of the boys, "but i don't think it was very realistic for a father to give up his son's life in hopes that the other boy would be become a Christian."

"Well, you've got a point there," the old man replied, glancing down at his worn Bible. A big smile broadened his narrow face, and he once again looked up at the boys and said, "It sure isn't very realistic, is it? But I'm standing here today to tell you that story gives me a glimpse of what it must have been like for God to give up His Son for me. You see... I was the son's friend to whom the father tossed a rescue line."

=)

now, guys, would u do the same thing? =D

to every non-Christians who are reading this, I'm terribly sorry to be so direct, but this is how much our God loves you all =)

And when i got up from my sleep, the door knob was missing, my room table was not there, even my cupboard is somehow not built yet. And i realised that something was different; something not right has happened.

i got out of the room, and of all people, Dad was there. I told Dad whats wrong, and he agreed upon the fact that we had stepped back in time; the time that ive stepped on is many years back. I cant recall what year it is but definitely when i was younger.

I am not colourblind, but all i see is in black and white. strange isnt it? i started gettin worried. i asked dad, "whats going on?"

and he said, "its ok, son, ill take u back to where u belong."

so! we went to school. back in Ipoh. when i still living there (don't ask me how i suddenly got back there i don't know myself). i was walking to school with Dad, and really, this is so real. Everything around me looks not as advanced as now; the old Proton Wiras and Mini cars, the buildings looked less dirty compared to as it is now, everyone looked so happy and it was still safe to walk outside of ur home. The town was clean, so clean it feels as if the floor and buildings were washed and polished.

and so me and dad walked on... and we walk.. and walk.. and walk... then i see visions of my present bedroom. and everything was in color.

so i told dad, "this must be a dream"

and he said, "it can't be son. this is so real"

and so, i closed my eyes, took a deep breath and opened it up again. and everything was back to how it looked like again. new buildings were around. new cars, more people on the road but less smile on their faces, dirt everywhere on the floor.

it was indeed just a dream.. but it was so real. even dad was convinced it wasn't one, and he wouldnt believe that it is not.

he said that mayb he was jus so caught up with the present problems, he wans to go back to the past and relive the days where he could learn everything again.. mayb He wans us to look back at our past and look at our mistakes. yes, we want to relive those days, but those dreams are just reminisces that cant be turned back, those steps tat we once stepped foot on cant be step on again in the same time again.

i didnt know what to say. as in, what was all this for....

And Samuels name appear unto me.

People, in life have make mistakes. Never a day can u live without making God disappointed because we are made this way. Sin came to us the moment we stepped foot on this land. That no matter how uve lived ur live, whether it has been a failure, whether u think that u made so many mistakes is so unbearable. sometimes u jus want to turn back the time and redo the bad things u have done in a better way.

that, indeed is impossible. and u cant change d fact tat u can turn back the time, no matter how u wan to. things can change,like who u were last time and what u are now. who was ur best fren, who were ur close frens. or even how ur parents were better last time, worse now. uve never done those things that u never knew u might end up doing now.

but this is a word of encouragement for u all; that God never forsakes you. As time can change and everything else does, there is one definite thing that will never, ever change. and i came to realise that this is what God was trying to tell me.

i woke up and i started day dreaming. then tears were all over when those songs that were made to glorify him were played. it may not be a very deep testimony, or something very emotional. but this is just what i needed to hear all these while. that he will carry me thorough my failures. and i will finish this race.

so for those of u who think u are alone; think again. Because even if you want to, God will never leave u alone :)

Passion

As the title says, passion... is what i define as something desirable; something that i want to do and i see fulfillment, joy and lastly(yeah i know its funny) God in it. Because if God isn't there with what i am passionate about, it might not be something good. And if God is not there with me, i may not be gifted in it...

passion passion.. is what i feel that we all should have at something. something that we want it so badly we would do anything for it, or for that someone. you'll do whatever it takes to get what u want, and ull do it no matter how difficult that is..

Until i am done mastering you (which I would never ever complete learning about you), my passion never stops

; just like my heart beat.

-from God above-

silent cry

i never even complained when i wasnt allowed to hold ur hands when we liked each other for d first 8 months. only reason being was because u never liked holding hands at that point...

never in my life, would i ever imagined i would date some1 ur age. not only that, i never tot i would hold on to this..

It was my choice, only cos u wanted it this way first.

It was never how i want it to end, it does only because of you.

i learned how to fold stars for u. haha.

and i've learned how to love some1 so much, only through u.. thanks for being able to be part of my life until now.

The Masks in Our Lives

"who do you think you're fooling?"

that was the title of our cg lesson today. Many points in our lives, whether it has yet or had never happened, we ought to face this difficulty. wat is the problem? you ask. its the difficulty of showing our true selves, usually.

i apologise for my lack of vocabulary this time. i dunno i jus cant find d words to express this deep topic. but anyway, when was the las time u tell urself to keep an image where u wan ppl to be able to connect, talk, feel comfortable with u, until u havta upkeep ur behaviour or "image" till at a certain point in ur life u have forgotten who u reli because of u havent been yourself? i believe, honestly, that many of us are like that. it may not be most, but many.

we dont wanna disappoint others. we dont wanna let others down. we dont wanna show to them that we are angry, nor we are sad. those character that do not suit who they think we are are kept aside and put away just so that others might not have another impression of us. like some, negativity cant be there cos they are considered as "cool" ppl. and so, ultimately as undeniable as it can be they do not want to disappoint themselves by losing their friends

we put on a mask, only to get acceptance by others to keep that friendship alive. but how long can we do that? how long can we fake ourselves to others? how long can we keep this game until we finally unleash the bomb in ourselves?

a fren of mine once said that its not good because u wouldnt noe wat lies beyond that point when u show ur true colors; u might even missed out some things ull never get to enjoy if u hadnt shown others who u reli are. i think she's indeed correct.

many of us, including myself, have been tryin to wear tat mask for so long we do not even know how it feels like to take it off. with so many things that has happened to my life and so many drastic changes and things that has happened, ive forgotten how is it like to be myself and treat others the way i want without having to think in case of any misunderstanding that might happen. ive already forgotten how much i wanna do things that i would reli like to do. we're so caught up with keeping our images we neglect that deeper true self and everything vanishes in the end.

im kinda lost right now. even the essay that im writing right now its so messy. all d points are jumpin from here and there. its so hard to explain this,but taking off the mask is important. in fact, theres no point hiding our true nature to others because in d end, if we fake our character, we're faking that friendship. and God can tell that we are. not only that, if we did show our character, mayb things would get better and life would even be greater than wat it is right now...

ok im lost for words...

signing off

Zzz

been studyin in monash till 11 for the past two nights.. this is crazy. and the ironic thing is tat tho as much ive been studyin it doesnt seem like im progressin much...

God help me....

No Greater Love - Part 1

If you ever need a reminder of how much God loves you and that he sacrificed his son for you, this is the best article that you should read :)

After a few hymns, the pastor stood up and introduced a guest speaker. With that,, an elderly man stepped up to the pulpit to speak.

"Three people boarded a boat; a father, his son and the son's friend. they were sailing off the Pacific Coast. Then a fast-approaching storm blocked any attempt to get back to shore. The waves were so high that even though the father was an experienced sailor, he could not keep the boat upright and the three of them were swept off the boat an into the ocean.

The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with two teenager who looked somewhat interested in his story. He continued, "Grabbing a rescue line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of his life. Which boy should he throw the other end of the line to? He only had seconds to make the decision. The dather knew that son was a Christian, and he also knew that his son's friend definitely was not. The agony of his decision could not be matched by the torrent of waves. As the father...

ill continue in the next post :)

upgraded laptop

oh yeah!

i jus got a cheap rm 20 cooler and a keypad protector for my laptop. ya i noe i noe its nothing special but for some1 ulu like me im fascinated by the coolers blue light comin out from my laptops ass hahahahahaha.

anyway, for the next three weeks, mid term test weh. i hope i wont fail any of them 0.0 i reli need to study man. i wasted one day doing nothing. well, i DID stuffs like playin basketball, gooing to pyramid to get my cooler and protector( OH YES! ) but ahem! i shud get serious :) hahahhahaa.

anyway will update soon. and yeah. uni life? its great! makin whole lot of new and unexpected frens. like ppl ive seen around before even in college but never expect to actually noe them.. someday. hahaha u noe who u are! but its good lar its not a bad thing :D

God bless

busy weekend

omg,

two lab reports ,one of them is formal , both due this friday. not only that, problem set 3 is due this tuesday, and we havent even finished the problem set 1. AND. assignment which is worth 6 % due on tuesday as well. everything due on tuesday is for maths. wednesday, physics tutorial due. thursday, dynamics. AND. 29th august, which is next week, is my mid term test. how to survive this two long weeks :S haihs the stress. can die man.

some1 save me pls.

God, please help me as much as u can, while i go study now.

its different

its been awhile :).

i walk through different corridors, different classrooms, different lecture halls, studying different things, learning different aspects in life, meeting different people, doing different things after class, entering a different study place, parking at a different place, eating different things for lunch, seeing different people from last time, acknowledging different people from last time and understanding different things.

but theres one thing that would never change, yes. indeed. You know what it is.

its been long enough since ive dragged this on. being not who i used to be, the highly-spirited passionate young 16 year old lad that i used to be, im no longer the same. in fact, for the past two years, circumstances and sick incidences have caught up so much in my life that some things wouldnt be d same anymore.

i guess its normal for some, its sad for most, its considered unlucky for many, life-learning for others, but its fortunate to God. i guess we all have to grow up some day and learn things on the way.

i want to look to the future and look back when im older that i did the right things, said the right stuffs, chose the right paths, and loved the way i lived. i wanna be better. i wanna learn from my mistakes from the last chances that i was given. i wanna look to the future, pat my own shoulders and tell myself, "it was good that u went through everything u did last time in order to be who u are now" and i want God to say that i have made my daddy up there proud.

its funny how sometimes we've learned from our mistakes, yet we still make the same errors after a certain amount of time. just like my friend who said that i would turn back to the same old me after awhile, i guess sometimes its inevitable. but so be it that he said that; let me take it as an advise from him instead of sulking over it and think that i would always be the same.

because in the end, it is my life. its the way i want to shape it. not anyone else. and nothing is impossible through him. for "i can do all things through Him who strenghtens me."